Funny computer based stuff

[Struja]

posto ove stvari imaju vise veze sa softwareom i programiranjem, stavljam ih u ovaj podforum

Mutant Marsupials Take Up Arms Against Australian Air Force

The reuse of some object-oriented code has caused tactical headaches for Australia's armed forces. As virtual reality simulators assume larger roles in helicopter combat training, programmers have gone to great lengths to increase the realism of their scenarios, including detailed landscapes and in the case of the Northern Territory's Operation Phoenix herds of kangaroos (since disturbed animals might well give away a helicopter's position).

The head of the Defense Science & Technology Organization's Land Operations/Simulation division reportedly instructed developers to model the local marsupials' movements and reactions to helicopters. Being efficient programmers, they just re-appropriated some code originally used to model infantry detachment reactions under the same stimuli, changed the mapped icon from a soldier to a kangaroo, and increased the figures' speed of movement.

Eager to demonstrate their flying skills for some visiting American pilots, the hotshot Aussies "buzzed" the virtual kangaroos in low flight during a simulation. The kangaroos scattered, as predicted, and the visiting Americans nodded appreciatively... then did a double-take as the kangaroos reappeared from behind a hill and launched a barrage of Stinger missiles at the hapless helicopter. (Apparently the programmers had forgotten to remove that part of the infantry coding.)

The lesson?

Objects are defined with certain attributes, and any new object defined in terms of an old one inherits all the attributes. The embarrassed programmers had learned to be careful when reusing object-oriented code, and the Yanks left with a newfound respect for Australian wildlife. Simulator supervisors report that pilots from that point onward have strictly avoided kangaroos, just as they were meant to.

Windows Error Codes Unveiled (uzmite u obzir da je ovo iz 1999 godine dok citate)

WindowError:001 Windows loaded. System in danger
WindowError:002 No error . . . yet.
WindowError:003 Dynamic linking error. Your mistake is now in every file.
WindowError:004 Erronious error. Nothing wrong.
WindowError:005 Multitasking attempted. System confused
WindowError:006 Malicious error. Desqview found on drive.
WindowError:007 System price error. Inadequate money spent.
WindowError:008 Broken window. Watch for glass fragments.
WindowError:009 Horrible bug encountered. God knows what has happened.
WindowError:00A Promotional literature overflow. Mailbox full.
WindowError:00B Inadequate disk space. Need 50 meg minimum.
WindowError:00C Memory hog error. More RAM needed. More! More!
WindowError:00D Window closed. Do not look out.
WindowError:00E Window open, do not look in.
WindowError:00F Unexplained error. Please tell us how it happened.
WindowError:010 Reserved for future mistakes
WindowError:014 Nonexistent error. This cannot really be happening.
WindowError:015 Unable to exit windows. Try the door.
WindowError:017 Keyboard locked. Try anything you can think of.
WindowError:018 Unrecoverable error. System destroyed.
WindowError:019 User error. It's not our fault. Is not! Is not!
WindowError:01A Operating system overwritten. Terribly sorry.
WindowError:01B Illegal error. Do not get this error.
WindowError:01C Uncertainty error. Uncertainty may be inadequate.
WindowError:01D Unable to figure out our own code. System crashed.
WindowError:01E Timing error. Please wait. And wait. And wait.
WindowError:01F Reserved for future mistakes
WindowError:020 Error recording error codes. Remaining errors lost.

If Operating Systems Ran The Airlines

UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.

Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump on again, and so on...

Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just shut up.

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what with the seat?"

Windows 98 source code (ne trebate znati programirati za ovo, i nije tako dugacak)

/*  Source Code to Windows 98 --     Enjoy!           */

#include "win31.h"
#include "win95.h"
#include "evenmore.h"
#include "oldstuff.h"
#include "billrulz.h"
#define INSTALL = HARD

char make_prog_look_big[1600000];
void main()
{
    while(!CRASHED)
    {
        display_copyright_message();
        display_bill_rules_message();
        do_nothing_loop();
        if (first_time_installation)
        {
            make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
            do_nothing_loop();
            totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
            search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
            hang_system();
        }

        write_something(anything);
        display_copyright_message();
        do_nothing_loop();
        do_some_stuff();

        if (still_not_crashed)
        {
            display_copyright_message();
            do_nothing_loop();
            basically_run_windows_3.1();
            do_nothing_loop();
            do_nothing_loop();
        }
    }

    if (detect_cache())
        disable_cache();

    if (fast_cpu())
    {
         set_wait_states(lots);
         set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
         set_mouse(action, jumpy);
         set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
    }

    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
    /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
    printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
    if (system_ok())
        crash(to_dos_prompt)
    else
        system_memory = open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

    while(something)
    {
        sleep(5);
        get_user_input();
        sleep(5);
        act_on_user_input();
        sleep(5);
    }
    create_general_protection_fault();
}

[Kyo]

Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.

Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes and takes out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.

Favoriti DEFINITIVNO OMG PREDOBRO

[Maurko]

takodjer, umro sam na windows air xD